Not This Time
by rainonmonday
Summary: The most troublesome thought was her decision of doing things on her own. Not asking anything from him. At least he knew she would keep their baby. But why did she need to take things away from him? / Spoilers 4x02


**An idea of what could happen next, after the baby news. Obviously, spoilers ahead.**

**(I didn't proof-read it, so I apologize for the mistakes)**

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><p><em><strong>Not This Time<strong>_

It was not as if he could've slept. Not after the news Zoe dropped on him. He couldn't really comprehend it yet.

George and Lavon had been as shocked as he was – though, probably not in the same way. To their credit, they had tried to comfort him in some way, but it was probably difficult since he couldn't really listen to anything. In his head, everything was scrambled.

Wade was thankful when Lavon suggested that they left him alone so he could _process_ things. But that didn't mean he was able to close his eyes and travel to dreamland.

In the dark, he just kept his eyes focused on the ceiling, watching the dancing reflection of the moonlight on the pond, wondering what plan he could come up with now that his whole world had shifted.

He knew Zoe didn't mean to just blurt it out like she had done, but how else was she supposed to tell him? Would've made him feel any better if she had sat him down and explain things? As if she needed to explain things!

The most troublesome thought was her decision of doing things on her own. Not asking anything from him. At least he knew she would keep their baby. But why did she need to take things away from him? What if he _wanted_ to give them _everything_? It was his baby too! He wouldn't just leave it alone and forget about that, especially since she knew he loved her.

Maybe she thought he was not responsible enough to deal with a child. Or, perhaps she realized he was not father material, not good enough for a family. And where did that leave them? They were supposed to try again, but if she didn't see future in it, then how could she make promises of working things out this time?

He hadn't expected to become a father so soon – maybe in the future, and he still had his doubts considering his childhood – but he wanted to be the one teaching his son how to fish or coddling his little girl.

If he could just prove it to her. Wade just had to show Zoe he was in this – as much as he had been into the baby making process.

"Morning?" Lavon mumbled next morning, when he entered the kitchen, finding Wade with his head inside the fridge, rummaging for something.

"Hey. Uh, when was the last time you went grocery shopping?"

"A few days ago, I guess. Why-"

"We are out of oranges. Did you know about folic acid? Well, apparently pregnant chicks need that and we are out of it."

Lavon looked at him with wide eyes.

"But you know what? I'll go. Just, just make me a list and I'll add the rest." Wade closed the fridge and started to make what it seemed an extremely healthy breakfast.

"Folic acid?" Lavon wondered while trying to reach for the pitch of freshly made orange juice, only to get his hand swatted away. He frowned.

"Yes!" Wade waved a few printed pages with his other hand. "I was doing some research – by the way I think your printer is out of ink."

"What? You used my computer?"

Wade ignored him. "I couldn't sleep, so I sneaked in and did the most I could."

Lavon's frowned deepened. It was already bizarre to hear Wade had been doing research, but it was slightly scary how he hadn't noticed someone practically breaking into his house.

He watched as Wade put together the breakfast on a tray – a little bunch of flowers he had probably picked up from the garden, and all – and then proceeded to leave the kitchen.

"May I drink orange juice?"

Wade narrowed his eyes. "Only if you pick up more."

Lavon pouted, even as he drank the OJ. These would be some long months.

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><p>Wade rapped at the door of the carriage house a few times, and started to get worried when he didn't get a reply. All those things he had read on the internet were still swimming in his head. He knew the first trimester was the riskier and he thought the worst, until he forced himself otherwise. Maybe she was just tired, and needed the extra hours of rest.<p>

He had read about how pregnant women tended to feel exhausted all the time.

So he opened the door, but didn't entered her room. He left the tray for her – including a pack of crackers in case she was nauseous.

Hesitantly, he left.

He had to work, unless he wanted to end up without money to raise his kid. He even was practicing ways in which to get more profit of the business, considering how much a baby cost according to the websites he had seen. Wade also had to make plans to work on a nursery, building a crib and maybe a few more pieces of furniture. He made the mental note of asking Zoe about decorations, since she probably would have a very specific idea of what she would want for the baby.

Since it was midday, and Zoe hadn't even text him to thank him or complain about breakfast, Wade called her.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Wade babbled nervously, but with that stupid smile on his face, just like any other time he spoke to her. "Um, I was wondering if you are feeling okay. I know you don't like bran very much, but it's good for you."

"What are you talking about?"

He frowned. "Breakfast. I left breakfast at your door for you this morning, with all those foods you need to eat now that you are… _you know_." He hated to say it aloud, since not everyone knew yet, and it would only serve to complicate things between them.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Well, see, I'm in New York right now."

"You're in New York? When are you coming back?" Okay, this was not good. What if she had run away again? What if like every other time she felt overwhelmed she had left for New York? First when he told her he loved her, and now this.

"I don't know."

Oh. Great. Now he was definitely screwed. She had meant it when she said she was going to do things on her own.

"But I appreciate the gesture. Though, I would also appreciate if you threw the food away before it spoils and makes my house stink." She tried to joke, but he was not feeling in the mood to oblige.

"Are you coming back?" He asked in a smaller voice than he would've liked.

"Wade," she sighed to him, but said nothing more.

"We need to talk."

"We've already talked. I told you what I would do."

"Yes, but you didn't let me tell you what _I'm going to do_. That's my kid too."

She released a tired breath that he could hear over the phone. "I don't want to do this over the phone and I need some time to think. We could talk, just not right now."

"Fine, but you can't avoid me forever."

And he wouldn't allow it, so as soon as he hung up, he made another call, this time to get himself a ticket to New York.

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><p>She never expected to see him there, to hear her mother introducing him to her guests almost mockingly, because he looked so out of place in jeans and a t-shirt, but also so adorable with his hands in his pockets as he frantically looked for her.<p>

She couldn't run away from him anymore, and the sole fact that he had decided to follow her, to not just let her do what she wanted like so many times before let her know he was committed for real this time. Wade was trying.

Opening her way through the guests, Zoe grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen, where she knew no one of the invitees would venture.

"What-" she mumbled, but Wade interrupted her soon.

"I won't let you do this again. I ended up losing the last time, and if you asked me to take a risk, then I'm doing that. I want things to work for us… and the baby. At least don't take that away from me. If you think I was too late for us, then don't force me to do the same for my kid."

She pursed her lips and felt her eyes well with tears. Stupid pregnant hormones.

"I wasn't lying when I said I needed time to think. It's been all too difficult to process for me, and I admit I didn't want to deal with your response because I was afraid."

"Afraid I would run off? That I didn't want this?"

She didn't say a thing and only nodded as she licked her lips. Her emotions were really running wild.

"I know things have been… crazy for us. And we never seem to want the same thing at the same time, but this? I want this. As much as you do."

Zoe looked at his eyes. Those deep green eyes turned so vulnerable when he spoke like that. She could see this was him telling the truth. He wouldn't let her take this child away from him, because as hard as it had been for him to deal with their relationship, he had no doubts when it came to their baby.

When her silence stretched, he pulled a few crumpled napkins from his pocket. "I had a few hours free, so I've been planning on how to make a nursery in your house, that I should start soon considering all the work I need to get done-"

Placing a hand over his and his doodles, Zoe smiled at him.

Wade sighed. "If you're not ready for us, that's okay. I get this is a lot of pressure for you to add our relationship problems on top of it."

"Thank you. I agree we should focus on the baby first."

"But I am going to take you with me back to BlueBell."

Zoe smiled at him. "I think it's a good time for me to go back. And check your plans about the nursery. You know how long it took me to decide with the rest of my place, so you can only imagine."

He snorted a laugh. Silence took over their conversation for the next moment, until he finally told her. "I was afraid this time you wouldn't come back. After what you said… I thought you wanted me out of the picture."

She closed her eyes tightly. "I didn't mean to sound like I wanted to take the baby away from you. I just thought that I had to give you that option, because I want it, even if I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be a good mom. After those days I found out, I realized that I really want this baby." She looked up at him, at the uneasy smile and his vulnerable expression. "And the main reason to have it is because it's yours. And we love each other, even if we never seem to synch our times."

"I want it too," he murmured. "I'm not saying I was waiting for you to tell me we were about to bring kids to this world, but… I can't imagine a better person with whom to have them."

"So we're doing this."

"We are."

"Should I wait until the end of the party for you to leave or do I have to excuse you?" Candice interrupted from her place at the door, glass of champagne in her hand.

Zoe grinned and giggled. "I think we should leave now."

And they did. Wade carried their bags, half-complaining about how much a tiny woman could pack, but then answering his own question when he remembered her _froufrou _things and whatever it was that she loved to buy in New York.

Zoe just said goodbye to her mom who promised to visit soon, to see her grandchild and maybe help with a few things. It was funny considering the numbers of nannies Zoe had had during her childhood, but she let that one slide. Candice also handed her a small gift bag that Zoe didn't open until they were sat in the plane.

"What's that?" Wade asked, making himself a bit more comfortable in the seat.

Zoe pulled a tiny pair of sneakers in white and looked at Wade whose eyes were studying the shoes as if they were something he had never seen before. It made things too real.

She felt him grab her hand, resting them on her thigh, linked together. And if she didn't let go until she fell asleep, she blamed it on the stupid hormones.


End file.
